Love.. Why do we fall for it ? My Love Stories.

I needed to share this or write it down so this is where I Choose to do so and share it those who understand and watch me Live and on Youtube.

I never knew what true love was yes that's right. My mom never was married I never seen it well a few time my mentors and my uncle but never something i could look up to. I knew what it felt like well I though I did.

Between watching Sex and the City Living in the City and being a loner lol plus most men in NYC are looking to love but he was...

August 4 2020

Sitting here in tears because I broke my own heart. Let me explain I fail in Love in October and it was something I never though I do again. He wasn't the kind of guy I'd go for older. A heart so pure and loving and caring I couldn't believe he'd love me.

With all that was going on in my Life ( homeless, finding my self , build a brand find a. job) I was selfish and scare to Allow those word or to come out my mouth to feel hat pain that I now feel now. " I Love You"

It's because a sentence that has been use for year in ti amo or te quiero.

Some people don't mean but I felt it, I saw it I believe it but I was scared of love.

Why?

June 2015

I was engaged to a man that told me he'd never hurt me Love me with all his heart we dated for about 2 years he told me if we ate still together next year we will be engaged. So we where engaged that following year.

He cheated... I went to Italy Fail Back in Love with myself.

I had to fall in love with me because I didn't trust another human with my fragile heart.

june 2018

Dated a guy lived with him one thing I will tell you ladies don't live with, someone your just dating. I was was homeless, that next year he didn't want me there. Hints all the homeless post in 2019.

April 2019

Went to London for my Birthday Fail back in Love with myself again, No money. Well 80$ in my account. Using couch-surfing. Meet amazing people like, amazing learn't what love was though, some amazing people and just enjoyed it all.

May 2019 - June 2019

Was homeless living out of a bag working three jobs so I didn't have to worry about rent I could barley pay. Sleeping on a friend couch was told to leave. I overstayed my welcome .

June 2019

Interviewed for wegmans got the job this changed my life back to NYC I went...

Jan 2020

Back NYC one year later him not only is he my best friend he showed me what true love was. My fear of all the pain and bad memories held me back and I just keep asking myself Why did I fall ? I knew why he fail he told me time and time again.

Well, today was better I cried yes humans cry, that water coming out your eyes.

I said thank you to god, for all the things I have, and threw some good energy into the world.

Made four sample boxes of cookie, and then wrote this blog because, this pain I don't even want anyone to walk away from somethings good out of fear.

I Erased those past pains with a ice cold shower and a glass of wine and some yoga.

Tomorrow a new day, new life and same me with a more open heart, caring soul and open ears and eyes.

I know i'm not perfect, I'm a pain in the butt, I am giving, caring and funny. When I love its all real and spicy and joyful.

True Love is scary but it will soothe your soul and light a spark in you you've never felt. Feel pain you've never felt and love someone just as much as you love yourself.

Self Love . Peace . Cookies . Vegan Food

Thanks for reading :)

well I spill my heart out lol